Last week as I sat in the waiting room at my daughter's vision appointment, I noticed that 4 out of the 5 adults in the room were browsing on their cell phones, while the fifth person was typing away on a computer. As other visitors came and went, there were no greetings, no eye contact, no gentle nods. Even the couple who had arrived together were separately engaged on their cell phones.
I hate to admit, but I was one of those 5 adults on the phone - looking at nothing in particular, perhaps checking out my friend's recent Facebook post about her son's guinea pig - when I made the deliberate decision to tuck my phone away into my purse and strike up a conversation with the woman next to me. The rest is history.
I hate to admit, but I was one of those 5 adults on the phone - looking at nothing in particular, perhaps checking out my friend's recent Facebook post about her son's guinea pig - when I made the deliberate decision to tuck my phone away into my purse and strike up a conversation with the woman next to me. The rest is history.
What about you? When you're in the presence of others, do you focus on them and pay them attention, or do you operate in another world?
Of course, you needn't have long drawn-out conversations with strangers everywhere you go, but ordinary pleasantries never go out of style. At least take the time to glance up when someone walks into the room, acknowledge their presence, and say "hello." Get off your phone when you're going through the check-out at H-E-B, and ask the cashier how his day is going. Your children are watching and learning from you, so set a good example.
Beyond that, whether you're at the table, traveling with others, in church, a birthday party, or chaperoning at a field trip, take the time to focus on the people around you. If you need solitude, it might be better that you spend a quiet day at home rather than join the group at the restaurant only to avoid conversation, wander off on your own, or bury your head in your phone all evening.
Beyond that, whether you're at the table, traveling with others, in church, a birthday party, or chaperoning at a field trip, take the time to focus on the people around you. If you need solitude, it might be better that you spend a quiet day at home rather than join the group at the restaurant only to avoid conversation, wander off on your own, or bury your head in your phone all evening.
Food for Thought:
If you're routinely on your cell phone or watching TV at the dinner table, you might be setting a discourteous example for your child. Try making mealtime a family affair as often as possible, and expect each person to be willing to give his attention to the others at the table. My family enjoys "High Low" at dinnertime. I go around and ask each family member what was their "high" of the day (the best thing about their day) and their "low" of the day (the worst thing about their day), or sometimes we do this exercise weekly rather than daily. The rule is that everyone has to give the talker their undivided attention. This exercise gives insight into your child's (and your spouse's) feelings, and it's a great way to find out if something's bugging him/her that needs to be addressed.
