When your child is having a difficult time behaving or obeying, request that he comes to sit or stand somewhere near you. This requirement likely moves him away from any “trouble” he’s currently into, and it allows him to settle down and reflect on negative behaviors, all the while still being accepted and loved by you. You can hold his hand, sit him on your lap, require that he stands next to you while you finish washing dishes, etc., as long as you’re bringing him in rather than pushing him out. As mom, feel free to continue your current activity – a phone conversation, knitting, loading the dishwasher – with little one nearby, but eventually make time to address the details of the situation.
Over time, the Time In technique can build trust, security, and respect between you and your child. If you’re thinking that being able to cuddle with mommy isn’t quite the “punishment” you had in mind for your child, remember that discipline is not equivalent to punishment, and furthermore, many young kids dislike the discipline of HAVING to remain in one place – near mom or otherwise, especially if they have other matters (like playing) to tend to.
Next time you’re tempted to give your child a Time Out, try Time In instead and see how this works for you.
