(Written by Amy Green, Mamaya Founder) - Here we are at the holidays – a season of happy families, warm kitchens, soft cookies, and laughter! For many moms, it can also be a time of family and societal pressure to perform, to be gracious and giving in beautifully decorated homes, and to be perfect. Expectations like these can be overwhelming in our season of peace, and sometimes we can forget to tend to ourselves during the hustle and bustle of caring for others.
Think about it. The lives of women and moms are ordinarily quite full each day with minimal time for self-care. Add holiday stress to the mix, and it can be the tipping point for exhausted moms everywhere. There's the holiday programs with the kids, the lunches and work events, shopping, and decisions about how to spend the days with family. The overwhelming pressure to provide a stellar performance during the holidays can feel like an extra burden for moms who are already juggling so many tasks.
During the holiday season, finding balance within ourselves and our schedules becomes a trickier tightrope than usual. Trickier, but not impossible. We CAN find that balance. The key is to assess what we value most this season and move those things to the top of the list. And the activities that we don’t love doing? Simple. We move those to the bottom of the list. And then we spend exactly how much time we want doing the things we love with the people we cherish. And if we never make it to the bottom of the holiday to-do list, that’s ok.
During this time of year, authenticity and genuineness are invaluable assets to have. Despite the many pressures of the holidays, we have the power to decide how we want to spend our time and who we want to share it with. While there may be obligations to fulfill—activities, traditions, and routines we've followed for years—it's important to pause and consider whether we truly enjoy them. Sometimes, we continue these practices because they are familiar, or because we feel they are expected of us. When we go through the motions without reflecting on our true desires, we can lose touch with our authentic selves. This often leads to a sense of pretending, putting on a fake smile or performance just to get through. In the end, this can result in resentment and a holiday experience that feels far from fulfilling.
One way to reduce stress and improve your overall holiday experiences is to communicate your needs and advocate for your family. It’s perfectly okay to change things up from what you usually do if it better suits your needs. Now more than ever, self care is essential. Navigating the holidays can be challenging for so many people for various reasons. Acknowledging this, along with the anxiety and pressure to meet expectations, can feel overwhelming. Now is the time to care for yourself so that you are able to advocate for your children and your family. Be honest with those around you, and give yourself the power to say no to invitations or expectations. The holidays can be peaceful and enjoyable when we create space to slow down and appreciate what's happening in the present, rather than focusing on everything we still need to do.
It's okay to choose the path that feels right to you. Speaking up for what you want and need is powerful. You have the freedom to show up wherever and however feels the most authentic. We can take control of our holiday experience, deciding what to value and what to let go of, who to spend time with, and when. If a situation stops bringing joy, we have the right to leave. By removing the mask, we can let our true selves embrace the season without resentment. We are not obligated to endure what we’ve always endured. We are the guardians of our peace—and our children’s peace. And peace can become a beautiful new holiday tradition.
Having a toolbox of resources ready when we become overwhelmed can make all the difference in how we are able to show up and respond to the world happening around us. Knowing where to go and who to talk to when things get a little too hectic for comfort can provide an extra layer of support. Becoming familiar and strategic with our self-care plans is an excellent tool for holiday survival. Finding a support group or a therapist can also be beneficial when exploring your boundaries around prioritizing self-care.
Mental health support is needed year-round, and it is especially important to not neglect ourselves during the holidays. At Mamaya Health, we prioritize support and accessibility for moms, because moms matter too. Explore our website at www.mamayahealth.com to learn more about how we are working to support moms like you.
