Does your daughter grumble when it’s time to go for her piano lessons? Does your son abhor the sight of his skates now? What happened? After all, they were both very enthusiastic about the programs when they started off. Is it time to give these activities the boot? We’re often confused by the disturbing and incongruous signals we receive from our children. One day the kids are excited about the new theatre class, and in just a few short weeks they wail and moan when it's time to go. The first thing you should do when your child begins resisting a previously loved activity is listen and investigate without jumping to conclusions. Ask your child what he or she does in the class. Try to find out what exactly is the cause of the problem. Then, ask the teachers the same questions. When you compare notes, you may stumble upon some important clues. Usually, children start out on an activity thinking it's all fun, but when they realize they need to follow rules, etc., they begin to resist. Your child may feel stifled if the program is too structured. Is the discipline too rigorous or the activity too painful (like in a karate class)? Use your maternal instincts. Does the program feel like fun? Are they offering enough motivation to keep the child interested? Would you want to attend it yourself?The teacher-to-child ratio is also an important factor. Children need plenty attention. If the number of teachers is barely enough to handle a class, it’s possible that your child is not receiving enough attention. State recommendations usually specify that there must be 1 teacher for 15 children.
Children try to avoid problems they cannot solve. If there are no perceivable problems with the class and the teachers, social pressures may be at work here. Does your child have friends there? If she is lonely or miserable because of the lack of friends, help her find a friend. If she finds a friend, she will get more involved in the activities.
If your best efforts do not pay off, and your child still resists that fantastic guitar classes, then it's time to let go. Shift your child to some other program. If he or she still retains interest in guitars, you can take it up after a few months. Never force your child when it comes to extra-curricular activities. Since they are 'extra', they must bring in extra happiness and extra enthusiasm as well.
